To my knowledge, every human being has been involved in an argument at one time or another. Arguments are part of relationships. They can help bring about a healthy progression towards a constructive decision. They can also lead to a destructive form of unacceptable behavior. Whether you argue with your spouse, parents, children, boss, co-workers or friends, it is important to argue effectively and not fall into any bad behavior traps. Learning to control emotions and words are very important in constructive arguing.
A good arguer is one that respects another persons beliefs, while arguing for their own. They are also able to argue constructively and without raising their voice and exposing their emotions. Some people feel that showing emotion is healthy and adds impact to their reason for arguing. Knowing how far to go is very important for the critical arguer.
The trap, that most individuals fall into, is letting their emotions get carried away. These emotions can lead to false accusations and actions that they will regret later. Destructive fights can lead to unproductive relationships and poor major decisions. They can be hurtful and lead to defensiveness, as well as resentment. It can hurt both parties involved.
Many times, it is good to get things out, before they start building up on the inside. A healthy relationship has room for social confrontation and constructive criticism. This type of arguing can lead to constructive agreements and can eventually strengthen relationships. Learning to work out inner conflicts is very important in successful relationships.
In personal relationships, problems are worked out, partners get past their defensiveness, old wounds heal, individuals get over their insecurities, and individuals begin to work as a couple.
Where do you fall in, when it comes to successful and constructive arguing? To find out if you are an effective arguer, you can take the Discovery Health test for arguing.
(This is not my writing. I copied excerpts from an article at http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1707093/is_arguing_a_healthy_way_of_expression_pg2.html?cat=41. You can read the article in its entirety at the preceding link.)
I took this quiz and I scored a 50. So I am between a destructive/constuctive arguer. Which means I am "not a bad arguer, but I still have a lot to learn when it comes to my fighting style" & I agree.
ReplyDeleteI took the Discovery Health test and scored a 60. It also said "you are not a bad fighter, but you still have a lot to learn when it comes to your fighting style." I also agree. I think that's my que to work on my arguing habits.
ReplyDeleteI took the Discovery Health test and scored a 50. I apparently need some work when it comes to argueing, which I can agree with.
ReplyDeleteI took the Argue test an i scored a 30 "it said i have a lot to learn when it comes to arguing due to me having a destructive nature" not saying its right or wrong i think i do destruct but in a subtle way ha
ReplyDeleteI took the Arguing Test and I scored a 40 it said that I "need to make an effort - a lot of thinking, reading, some more introspection, and finally, learning how to incorporate the newly acquired knowledge into your everyday behavior." I am guessing thats a bad thing for me it might be that i am just to shy.
ReplyDeleteWhen I took this test I scored a 90 and the test stated “you are an excellent fighter. For the most part, you argue constructively, with respect for your partner and understanding” this is my average personality I’m laid back and calm most of the time. It’s not a common event to catch me arguing!!! Apparently this test thinks I’m a decent arguer but I don’t know!?!
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ReplyDeletewell i took the Discovery Health Test and i got a 70. it said that im not a bad fighter, but I still have a lot to learn when it comes to my fighting style wich i completely agree with. I believe it is that way for me because most of the time when i argue i argue until i get things my way and maybe that is a bad thing sometimes :)
ReplyDeletewell i took the discovery health test and scored a 100 and this is what it said "The results of the test you just took indicate that you are an excellent fighter. For the most part, you argue constructively, with respect for your partner and understanding of his/her positions. It must be a pleasure to fight with you : )" i guess i never really relized that but i can see it now like when i was recently cheated on i just reacted calmly about it and asked what was the story behind it and why? and i guess she just slipped up and well the rest is drama but when it comes to friends i just try to be understanding and be laid back about it.
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ReplyDeletei took the test and got an 80 it said "The results of the test you just took indicate that you are an excellent fighter. For the most part, you argue constructively, with respect for your partner and understanding of his/her positions. It must be a pleasure to fight with you : )" thats halfway true. I sometimes dont consider my partners feelings so obviously i need to work on something. it also depends on whom i am fighting with. if its girls im not a constructive fighter but when it comes to my family or friends i guess i can see how this would be true.
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